Well, my vacation was a typical Scoop event. I had the kids go with my ex- wife. So it would be a quiet trip. Dad was pissed. He said that the ex was being mean by not letting me bring my kids to Yhanundasis. I see my kids 7 days a week. I’d like to do normal things as an adult. I watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy every night! But dad wants to see his grandkids. I’m not a grandfather so I guess being a grandparent is better than being a parent. I guess since your kids disappoint you, you look to your grandkids for hope!
Here’s what I experienced while I was home. Bad weather and a bad dog. That’s about it. I even called Little Billy Keebler but he was busy doing nothing! We went to the big city of Utica, NY in the Family Truckster to go shopping for the week. Scoop Sr said to be mindful of the saloons, gambling houses and loose women. I reminded dad that I was also eligible for an AARP membership and this wasn’t an episode of Little House on the Prairie. His response was: “Again; be careful of the saloons, gambling houses and loose women! And we’ll go to the barber to get you an haircut.” Sunday was nice but by the time we got back, it was too late to do anything. But we got back in time for Wheel of Fortune! Since there was no Planet Fitness and the wifi sucks, I took a page from JB Gunner and went hiking by myself. Unlike JB, there was no honey’s around! Friday we did go to the Roadkill Grill and the Regal Beagle! Both of these Gin Mills make Moe’s Tavern on the Simpson’s look like the hottest club in New York, LA, Miami, or Vegas! And the male/female ratio was 100 to 0! At the “Grill” one barfly looked like a mid-card wrestler from ECW named Rudy was going hog wild as at the other end of the bar was a rather attractive female that was just below 300 lbs and had a neatly trimmed beard! You thought Rudy just got out of jail after 25 years! I looked around and I knew almost everyone in the bar! There was a DJ playing songs for listening and karaoke. I greased the guy to play long songs to kill time include: Black Sabbath’s “Wheels of Confusion”, and the Allman Brothers Band’s “Dreams.” The poor girl messed up every song! In between looking like a “G” with the DJ, I was talking to Rudy about which Black Sabbath album was better. Great I was now a barfly! The Stanton Brothers stumbled to the Beagle where there were no ladies! I told my brother Shovel Stanton that we baddest set of brothers since the Dudley’s! We couldn’t beat retired midget wrestlers at that point. But; were the only brothers in the bar!
The next day we went boating. Dad bought a mini aircraft carrier. 25 feet long with the capacity to seat 15 comfortably. Current payload: 2 fat drunks! Meanwhile there were people on jet skis with 3 people on them! I can’t tell you how many boatloads of dudes were out there! It was like I was back in the Navy. Then as my brother and I were navigating to dock at a place for more alcohol, a boat pulls out with nothing but chicks on it. My brother turned the wheel as we were going to go in their general direction. Then the phone rings. Dad needs our help with mom. Shiiiiiiiiiit! We helped ma and stayed home for Wheel of Fortune!
The best part was the Yhanundasis Mensa Club. Literally a bunch of old guys (and a few old gals)talking shit! I was allowed to attend as I was part of a legacy (Front End Loader Stanton). I was laughing my ass off as these people were talking shit, drinking booze and talking about how fucked up the government is! It was a bigger audience than a typical week for 75 Radio!
It was such a disappointment that I followed the Instagram account of Ms. Danila Rodrigues! She went on vacation in Myrtle Beach with her family. Danila was on the July 1 show at the 4th of July party! And she had a beautiful room, great weather and looked like she had a great time. And man, she always look like a million bucks! And the poor lady took pity on some of her simpleminded fans! She followed the account of one ScoopStanton and conversed via Instagram and Facebook! I was enjoying her vacation! She would post something nice on her trip. And I would post pics of my parents rotten dog or the rain! One account is what success looks like. The other account is what failure looks like. And failure loves the Sons of Anarchy and Jack Daniel’s!
SEVEN FIVE RADIO 